19 Pieces of Life-Shaping Music for Age 19

Today I turn 19 years old. I could spend the time contemplating what that means for me as an adult or exploring the ways I have matured and the many ways I still have not, but I would rather listen to and write about some dope tunes. After careful examination of my life’s course, I was able to pick out 19 different pieces of music that were important in shaping who I am and what I listen to. Although this was an attempt at cataloging this all in chronological order, my terrible memory means that there may be some slight errors visible to almost nobody. My love for music is a large part of my identity, and it was fun seeing how it has grown and changed over these 19 years.

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield

This is the first real song I can ever remember listening to. I only have a hazy, dreamlike memory of listening to it at a very young age, but I remember instantly falling in love with the song. It makes me remember days of watching TV with the whole family gathered, and just talking. Back then, things felt so simple, but now they’re only getting more and more complex with each day. "Pocketful of Sunshine" is a song that will always mean so much to me. To me, it was, and still is, a sweet escape. It’s a journey into fuzzy memories that remain positive and heartwarming all the same. Out of all the many bangers that Natasha Bedingfield created, I’m glad to have such a strong emotional connection with this one.

Beat It - Michael Jackson 

Michael Jackson is the first artist I was ever a fan of. Every music video of his would be played at full volume and on repeat. Honestly, I don’t know how my family didn’t get tired of this, but at the same time, I probably was too busy jamming out to take notice of their reactions. “Beat It” in particular was my favorite MJ song, but for reasons that embarrass me to think about now. I liked the knife fighting in the music video and thought it was so cool, that I would vehemently defend “Beat It” as my number one pick, despite enjoying a few other Michael Jackson songs more. Remembering how much I loved all of his stuff and would try to commit each moment of the music into my memory just reminds me of how little things can change. 

One-X - Three Days Grace 

This song was the introduction to an album I would fall in love with by a band I would also fall in love with. How did I find it? A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles AMV. It’s kinda funny to think about now, but there were strong emotions that this video instilled in me. Three Days Grace opened the door to rock music filled with vulnerability and I strolled right in. I think it was especially important for me to find music that was so expressive at this stage of my development. Even though I can’t remember if I felt like an outsider at this time (probably), this song was still a comfort and a battle cry.

Metamorphosis - Hillary Duff

My sister was the one who had the Metamorphosis CD, but that doesn’t mean that the lyrics to the hit song “Why Not” aren’t still burned into my brain. Vivid memories and feelings stick with me today. Memories of staring at the T.V. screen wrapped under my blanket at what felt like 3 A.M., but was probably closer to 10 P.M. I didn’t tell a single soul about how tearfully inspiring “So Yesterday” was or how “Come Clean” made me want to dance with every fiber of my being. At the time, my love for Hillary Duff was a secret, but no longer. All the nights that this album carried me to sleep slowly filled my soul with warmth and good feelings. From Lizzie MacGuire to the Metamorphosis album, Hillary Duff was a surprisingly big part of my childhood and the catalyst for many nostalgic memories. Sometimes you can only fully appreciate something retroactively.

Fly Away - Lenny Kravitz

Karaoke Fridays were what I lived for during fifth grade. Unfortunately, despite the implications of the name, we would only have our class karaoke sessions every couple of Fridays. It was on one of these random Fridays that my teacher showed me “Fly Away” by Lenny Kravitz. Either she showed it to me because of my performance for Imagine Dragon’s “Radioactive”, or she just showed me the song and I performed it with a friend later I can’t remember. I’ve also probably only listened to “Fly Away” a handful of times since then. Even so, this memory always stuck with me. This was one of the biggest moments of my childhood where I had the confidence to really let loose and enjoy myself while doing so. I’m brought back to the words written in my fifth-grade yearbook: “Rock gods have peach fuzz”. 

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy 

I have a confession to make. Some of my closest friends may not have even known this about me. In middle school, I went through my “emo” phase, dressing in all black and listening to Fall Out Boy, Secondhand Serenade, Panic! At The Disco, you get the gist…As cringy as remembering this period of time is, I did find a lot of music and artists that I still love to this day. "The Phoenix" was my favorite Fall Out Boy song at the time and had just the right amount of sharpness and edginess that I carried myself with. Pretty much any Fall Out Boy song from around this era could be called the theme of my younger years. For as painful as some memories I associate with this music can be, I’m glad that I was able to find music and a scene that resonated so strongly with me. 

Standard Lines - Dashboard Confessional

I’m surprised at how early on in my life I found and enjoyed this song. It shaped my taste at the time, yes, but I think this was the start of me discovering a sound that I would only truly appreciate later on. This was probably one of the earliest songs that I valued for its lyrics and writing. Although I had no genuine experience with the subject matter of the track, I was able to empathize with the feelings expressed and related to that way. To this day, I can confidently say that “Standard Lines” is my favorite Dashboard Confessional song, so I’m proud of young me for having such a great pick. 

Border Line - King Krule 

"Border Line" remains one of my favorite songs of all time to this day, but the reason why it played a huge role for me developmentally was not because of the sound, or at least, not the sound alone. Watching the YouTube video “King Krule - Border Line” by David Dean Burkhart blew my mind. The beautifully edited dances flow perfectly with the music and add to this picture of intimacy. At this point, I realize how important visuals have been in my connection with music. Seeing a visual story to go along with the sounds created some powerful moments for me. While I did not expect a ginger kid from London to be behind this thick, deep voice, I would fall in love with King Krule anyway and explore all of his work. 

911 / Mr. Lonely - Tyler, The Creator

Unfortunately, middle school saw me enter my edgy phase, even if I didn’t really feel good about the types of jokes I constantly heard. Middle school is a weird time of trying to fit in and conforming to a group that also has no idea what’s going on but blindly chooses some quality to attach to. For all my weirdness and immaturity, I’m surprised that I wasn’t a big Tyler, The Creator fan. Well, not at first. I saw some of his clips and thought that he was funny enough, but never listened to his music heavily. It wasn’t until my friend Ben showed me a new single titled “911 / Mr. Lonely” that I became hooked. Something about the brutal honesty of the song and the simple artwork of a pink phone over a blue background moved me. This was probably the start of me becoming a Tyler fan, and getting into Flower Boy, an album that I replayed over and over. Sometimes music finds its way to you just when you need to hear it, and this was definitely the case with “911 / Mr. Lonely”.

worldstar money (interlude) - Joji

This wasn’t the clear start of my lo-fi hip-hop stage but it’s definitely the song that represents it the best. The mix between peaceful production and wistful lyrics spoke to me HEAVILY at the time. I think this was the time when I started to look back at the past more and kinda let the present fade away. As depressing as that sounds (and was), this music offered a level of relatability that I found comfort in, even if it almost entered the territory of being unhealthy escapism. “worldstar money (interlude)” is the type of song that soothes you by gently tearing your heart apart. Another thing this song did was help transition me into my bedroom-pop era, which featured some happier tracks that I could latch onto. 

Paranoid Android - Radiohead

This might be the most important song in consideration of my current music taste and more recent music explorations. I couldn’t even tell you what Radiohead songs I’d heard before Paranoid Android, other than maybe "Creep" and "Daydreaming". Radiohead is now one of my favorite and most listened-to artists, and it all started with a playlist curated by my friend Dean to put me on to some good stuff. Hearing this song for the first time blew my mind, and opened it up to what music could really be. This track is its own event, really expanding upon emotions through drama and intensity. As I continue to explore different sounds today, I look upon this song fondly as a foundation of my constantly evolving love for music. 

Brother Sport - Animal Collective

If "Paranoid Android" is the most important song in developing my recent music taste, then "Brother Sport" is the second most important song (and another song off the Dean playlist). There’s this feeling of magic that Animal Collective create, and hearing this track for the first time allowed me to see that quality, which I hadn’t really heard in music before. My first experience listening to "Brother Sport" was so intense that I remember just kinda being in awe of what had happened. “Music can sound like this??”, was the question that completely flipped everything I thought I knew. Before this, I had considered myself a music fan, but this is what pushed me into becoming a music nerd.

1539 N. Calvert - JPEGMAFIA

My relationship with Peggy has been love at first listen. "1539 N. Calvert" was the perfect mix of smoothness and weirdness that I had no choice but to become interested in. This is one of JPEGMAFIA’s more mainstream tracks, but it still is very much him. It’s a great starting point for diving into some of his wilder music. Before I started listening to this, I only really listened to Pop Rap, and Alternative Rap, with some notable exceptions. Not only did this lead me to listen to some more experimental rap, but I also listened to more experimental music in general. My horizons had to be broadened, to fit a Peggy-sized path. 

A Hero’s Death - Fontaines D.C.

This is another song that I have a growing appreciation of for being an introduction to a genre. The whole black midi, Black Country, New Road, and Windmill Scene probably wouldn’t mean as much to me if I wasn’t introduced to it by Fontaines D.C. And what an introduction “A Hero’s Death” is! I loved the entire album, but the hopefulness of this track specifically was truly inspiring. My love for bands such as shame, Idles, black midi, and others started here, making further exploration down the line possible.

On GP - Death Grips 

I never tried too hard to get into Death Grips for obvious reasons. Nothing I heard from them sounded remotely pleasant, so why would I even try to understand the appeal? My most frequent interaction with the band was to laugh at the memes about how terrible they were, and then go about my day. Honestly, I don’t know what changed but I decided to give the band a fair shake. After researching and listening to what some would consider entry-level Death Grips songs, the most positive emotion I felt toward their music was ambivalence. It wasn’t until I heard tracks such as "Eh" and "Hot Head” that I was beginning to enjoy the band. And then I listened to “On GP”. In many ways, it’s a typical Death Grips song: loud, brash, and intense. However, I was able to see and feel the beauty within it, which was lost to me before. MC Ride’s furious vocals convey so much raw emotion, and the lyrics were able to show me that. This song struck me in my heart and helped me to understand the hype behind the band, and appreciate it on a personal level. Giving music a fair shot, despite what the discourse surrounding it may be, is something I always try to do, not wanting to miss out on having such a powerful experience as I have with Death Grips.

Speed Trials - Elliott Smith

My first introduction to Elliott Smith was through Either/Or, like many, with the song “Speed Trials”. It’s a simple beginning, but that was the start of my love for who is quite possibly my favorite artist. At first, it was just a love for Elliott Smith, but I think it also shifted to an exploration of indie folk as a whole, and other genre-adjacent albums. A lot of my friends know me as “the Elliott Smith guy” and that’s a title I’m not ashamed of. The connection I have when listening to his music is something that I have with few, if any really, artists I listen to. It’s the feeling that Smith understands you completely and puts it into his music in a way that nothing else does. At least this was the case personally. Listening to music that spoke to me, unlike anything I heard before gave more layers to my love for this art form.

Surf’s Up - The Beach Boys

Surf’s Up is an album that shows a lot of what The Beach Boys does best and a side of The Beach Boys which isn’t often heard, which is also incredible. I would argue that this is their most mature album, featuring some of their darkest and most existential lyrics. Despite this, there is still the light of positivity that is prominent across the band’s discography. This album is also important to me for being the first album I ever bought on vinyl, marking the start of a new hobby. As someone who was a fairly big fan of The Beach Boys, but never really expanded beyond the classics, this record made me view the band in a new light. There are so many different cherished memories that I have because of this album, and it will always remain the most important piece of music that the band released to me. 

James Blake -James Blake

James Blake was possibly the most genre-fluid album I heard at the time of my first listen, and  I’m still floored by the subtle mix of elements from a wide range of influences. Admittedly, I still don’t listen to electronic music often, but before this album, I’m not sure if I listened to electronic music at all. This record made me more willing to get out of my comfort zone and listen to new things, and just bask in how different pieces of music can sound from each other. 

God Save The Animals - Alex G

Although this is a recent album, it has given me so much to think about. I loved the album from the day that it came out, but a deeper appreciation was developed when I had the opportunity to see Alex G live. I was blown away by the live renditions of these songs, even the ones I cared little for. Although I’ve been to other concerts before, this showed me the transformative quality of hearing a song in a different setting. While my thoughts on the album itself aren’t necessarily different, I feel as though my emotions may have changed. Art shouldn’t be something that’s boxed in by too many labels, which is something I’ve always strongly believed in. Having the concert experience I had with Alex G honed this in, but also makes me conscious of the fact that sometimes you just need to get away from all the arguments and internet discussions, to just feel the music.

To 19 More,

Peach Fuzz